🔮 exsanguinated (with @sangwhine)

[mystracal]

tfln | invitations | and there was only one bed | undermountain alurlyath | what could be | blood bond | the price of freedom
it wore his face | dinner with morena dekarios | rediscovery

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[sangwhine]

[Oh. Astarion startles a moment, then turns and takes Gale's hand in his.]

I'm not leaving you. I only wanted to do something about all the blood.

[True to his word, he keeps his hold on Gale while he's readying the basin.]

[mystracal]

[Gale closes his eyes as Astarion readies the basin. Despite that he feels childish, clingy, needy in that moment, he refuses to let go a second time. He couldn't will himself to do it if he wanted to.]

I don't know what I'd have done if they'd taken you.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion won't begrudge him this, he keeps his hold tight on Gale as he tugs him over to sit on a cushion, pulling at the edge of his dirty tunic to get it up and off.]

You'd have come for me, obviously. I've no doubt in my mind of that.

[mystracal]

But what if he'd performed the ritual before we could find you? What if you were lost to me forever?

[He eases onto the cushion, finally releasing Astarion's hand so he can pull his shirt off. There's no protest, no shyness or hesitation, none of his casual flirting that usually accompanies his undressing in front of Astarion; his mind is wandering through the what-ifs of the past and potential attacks of the future.]

[sangwhine]

Gale, dearest. Let's maybe not let our thoughts linger too long on things that haven't come to pass, hm?

[His tone is gentle, trying to coax Gale away from those thoughts as he begins to wipe away the blood and dirt from Gale's skin.]

[mystracal]

[He does his best not to flinch this time around as Astarion goes near his neck. He pulls in a breath, steadying himself.]

I can see now how grief and loss drove Ketheric Thorm mad.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion's quiet a moment, considering the sentiment as he wipes blood from Gale's chest, wringing the towel clean.]

It does have an appeal. Seizing the power to ensure that nothing is ever taken from you again.

[mystracal]

[His eyes flick upward, searching for Astarion's gaze.]

But at what cost? You'll be sacrificing your kin, Thorm sold his soul to any god who would listen. I wonder what the cost will be for me, when the time comes.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion meets his gaze, his own expression coldly determined.]

My kin are a cost I'm willing to pay for that safety.

[mystracal]

[Gale's brow knits; he can't help but wonder if that will be the only price to pay, especially if this ritual was concocted by an archdevil.]

Were you not close to any of them?

[sangwhine]

No, never.

[He pauses a moment before elaborating, his gaze fixed on the bloodied rag in his hands.]

You heard them. I was always the weakest, the runt. They never showed me sympathy. Never cared for how much Cazador delighted in tormenting me. He would always lavish praise upon them, reward them for carrying out his orders, but I was never good enough. Never worthy of any praise or kindness.

[mystracal]

Frankly, I'm not sure being worthy of a vampire lord is anything to be proud of, but perhaps it would have spared you some of the suffering you endured.

[He slips his hands around Astarion's and the rag, deliberately putting them in his line of sight.]

They lost their chance to know someone wonderful.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion turns his gaze up to meet Gale's, a softer, playful smile slipping over the somber expression he's worn until now.]

You're such a sweet thing.

[He leans forward, stealing a kiss from him.]

But that wonder is yours and yours alone.

[mystracal]

[He'll give Astarion that kiss wholeheartedly, but his brow remains tight. Maybe it's the blood loss talking, his head feeling lighter than he'd like, or perhaps it's his morality gnawing at him again. He loves Astarion more than he can say, treasures his kindnesses and attention... and yet, he fears what could become of Astarion were he to embrace his vampiric nature any further. Gale knows he's capable of so much more.

But that is reserved for him and him alone, as Astarion said. It's a touching, yet troubling sentiment.]

Our friends know how sweet you are when you allow yourself to be, I'm sure.

[sangwhine]

Oh, I'm certainly sweet on them. But my love, my adoration. Those things I give only to you, Gale Dekarios.

[Astarion reaches up to cup Gale's face in one hand, the dampness of his thumb running across his cheek. He can see that worry, the knit in Gale's brow isn't something he often hides. But it's hard to tell if it's from Gale's fear of losing him or something else. Until the wizard tells him otherwise, Astarion is content to soothe it with his presence, with his touch. He wants to reassure Gale that he is here, and he will be for as long as he's able.]

[mystracal]

[As much as Gale wants to vocalize his concerns, he ultimately decides to put it off for now. He used to live each day with the fear it was his last - perhaps the orb would destabilize, he'd meet a terrible end, or they'd find the Heart of the Absolute, but whatever the reason, that would be the end of him. There are times he struggles to remember what it's like to know another day is coming. Hells, they could all be killed tomorrow.

But he allows himself to believe they'll see the morning light this time. He can try again then, when he can think clearer. For now, he leans into Astarion's touch, smiling as his lover uses his name. He's still considering going back to it, once he has godhood.

... If he chooses godhood, now that the potential, unknown cost of such an ascendance has eked into his mind. Any worthwhile endeavor has one, after all. While he likes to think he already paid for it through years of pain and isolation, even his optimism won't let him entertain than notion for long.]

You spoil me, truly.

[He leans to steal a kiss for himself, having to use one hand to keep himself steady.]

Just remind me not to get bitten by your brother again. I keep thinking I'm about to topple faster than Halsin three drinks in.

[sangwhine]

Yes, I would like to avoid having any of my family bite you again. Ideally I would like to reserve that honor for myself. Once your blood is palatable, of course.

[He runs his fingers through Gale's hair, drawing him in and moving both of them towards the bedroll laid out in the corner. Gale isn't the hardiest of their party by a very long shot, so Astarion knows he'll need time to recover from being drained and injured. Best to sleep it off, or at least move into a more horizontal position.]

But until that point in time, I will do everything in my power to keep them from you.

[mystracal]

[Gale lets Astarion move him, but is hesitant to let him go once they reach the bedroll.]

That's assuming my blood ever will be palatable. If nothing else, it's a surprisingly effective vampire deterrent. I never considered that as much of a boon until recently. Well, a boon when attacked by an unfriendly vampire rather than offering myself to a vampire I'm quite friendly with.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion doesn't intend to let Gale go far. He settles against the cushions he's laid out before drawing Gale into his arms, letting the two of them tangle up in one another. His hand finds Gale's hair again, gently brushing his fingers through it.]

I do hope to properly taste you some day. You seem the sort to have rich blood, a distinct and deep flavor.

[mystracal]

I can't say I ever thought about what my blood would taste like before the orb.

[He leans against the pillow heavily as Astarion plays with his hair, careful not to bend his neck too much.]

Though I have, um. Entertained the idea of what it might feel like for someone drink it. I can only assume you'll be more gentle than your brother was.

[sangwhine]

Oh? Just how have you entertained the thought, dearest? When you're alone at night? When finding your own private release?

[He's teasing, his fingertips playing lightly against the shell of Gale's ear.]

[mystracal]

[Gale reddens just a hair, perhaps as much as he can at the moment, given his condition.]

Nothing quite so salacious. Mostly when in the arms of my lover, when he smiles and shows me his fangs.

[Mostly. He might have had a private thought or two.]

[sangwhine]

[Astarion smiles at him, fangs and all, while gently running his touch along Gale's throat.]

I promise you I will be very gentle.

[mystracal]

You always are with me.

[Astarion's touch tickles; he can't help but arch his neck just a little, despite the pain cloistered on the one side.]

When I've been entertaining these thoughts, I have been putting my mind to work. Wondering just how effective alchemy would be in such a situation.

[sangwhine]

Alchemy? How so?

[Astarion shifts to settle on his side, his head propped up with one arm while he drops the other to rest against Gale's hip.]