🔮 exsanguinated (with @sangwhine)

[mystracal]

tfln | invitations | and there was only one bed | undermountain alurlyath | what could be | blood bond | the price of freedom
it wore his face | dinner with morena dekarios | rediscovery

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[sangwhine]

[Astarion can barely parse the conversation around him for how loud Cazador's voice rings in his head. He feels like he's falling. Like he's been shoved over the edge of a chasm with no end in sight. A chill runs over his already cold skin like the sharp cut of a flaying knife, like silver needles driven under his fingernails.

Morena's voice speaking his name seems to come from a thousand miles away, a distant echo into the cavernous shadows of his skull. He grabs to it like a lifeline, desperately hauling himself back, so he can feel the warmth of Gale's hand in his, smell the fragrance of Morena's wine, of the fine meal before them, not rot, not blood, but spices and rendered fat.

He's forgotten to breathe, he thinks. He looks to Morena bowing her head to him in a stupor. Has she noticed? He swallows down air, remembering that he needs it to speak, to be heard. Surely she'll notice the lapse in his reply, surely Gale will, but he can only hope it goes unnoticed.]

I—could hardly hold such a thing against you.

[mystracal]

[Whereas they both missed Astarion's earlier lapse, they catch it this time; Morena's brow furrows in confusion as she looks him up and down.]

I'm sure you could if you wanted to, but I must ask - are you feeling all right? You're looking quite pale, and I do hope I haven't ruined dinner by being a mother owlbear before a proper hostess.

[Gale, his hand still in Astarion's grasp, offers her a placating smile.]

If you'll excuse your wayward son and his paramour for a moment, mum?

[Morena hesitates, but finally does rise from her seat; the concern hasn't left her face.]

Of course, sweetness. I'll go get Astarion some fresh water.

[She excuses herself and leaves the room, the two of them alone once more. Gale waits for her to be well out of earshot before speaking, his voice low and soft as he searches for Astarion's eyes.]

Astarion?

[sangwhine]

[There's an imperceptible flinch when Gale says his name, despite how soft and quiet it is. He gave his word he wouldn't ruin this evening, didn't he? That he wouldn't come between Gale and his mother. Hells, how much time did he lose? How long was he slack jawed and out of his mind? He swallows before squeezing Gale's hand in his, putting on as much of a smile as he can muster.]

I didn't mean to worry you, dear. I was—somewhere else. It didn't seem right of me to interrupt you and your mother.

[mystracal]

['Somewhere else.' Gale's brow tightens.]

Forgive her, she's just... worried. I've given her every right to be.

[He runs his knuckles along Astarion's cheek.]

Just give me a moment. I'll find us an excuse to leave.

[sangwhine]

[He flinches again, more noticeable with Gale's hand to his cheek. It can't be hidden now. A sour anger bites the back of his throat as he speaks, a hissing whisper.]

Don't you dare.

[He pauses, gathers himself, digs his nails into his palm so it hurts enough to ground him, breathes.]

We'll stay. Your mother's cooked such a fine meal for us. Don't let me keep you from it, dear.

[mystracal]

[His mouth draws itself into a thin line.]

She's cooked plenty of fine meals, and will cook others yet. I won't have you stay discomfited on my behalf.

[sangwhine]

And I won't have this evening ruined by—

[He bites off his words before he can say the name. It isn't Gale's name that's on his lips, he reminds himself. Gale doesn't deserve this anger, this hurt. He swallows again, some of the tension bleeding from his body as he looks down to the angry red crescents he's dug into the palm of his hand.]

I want this to go well, Gale. I don't want what she'll think of me if I steal you away from her right now.

[mystracal]

[Gale's eyes trail downward, landing on Astarion's other palm; he pulls in a breath, stifling the urge to keep arguing.]

All right. But promise to talk to me when we get home.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion curls that hand closed, reaching over to gently pat Gale's wrist in reassurance.]

When we return, you may dote upon me to your heart's content. I promise.

[mystracal]

I will be taking you up on that.

[His eyes flick upward as he hears his mother's footsteps; Morena brushes her hair back into place with her fingers as she steps into the room, setting a fresh glass of water for Astarion down before standing beside the table.]

I just wanted to apologize, Astarion. To you both, but especially to you, and sincerely. I am sorry. You've been nothing but a gentleman since you arrived, and it's clear you and my Gale are sweet on one another. I was just... surprised at the news, how sudden it is. Sudden enough for a human, much less someone as long-lived as your sort.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion turns to Morena on her return, his facade recovered, at least somewhat, though he doesn't release Gale's hand from his hold.]

My dear, there's no need for such an apology. You were only—acting as a mother should. In Gale's best interests. Honestly, it might have been more worrisome if you had simply agreed to the whole affair at face value without concern for my intentions for your son.

[He pauses a moment, turning his gaze away to look to the table, the water, his fingertips running softly against the already-knitting flesh of his self-inflicted wounds. He takes a breath before he speaks, not making eye contact with either of them, his voice considerably more measured than his earlier beguiling attempts.]

To be truthful, my nerves were perhaps a bit on edge at the worry that you might not approve of my place in Gale's life. The thought that my worry was not entirely unfounded seems to have hit upon an unpleasant memory. Drew it to the surface. But it was poor form of me to read such ill-intent into your concern.

[mystracal]

[Gale gives Astarion's hand a squeeze, running his thumb along his pale knuckles as he explains - and with more honesty than he'd anticipated.]

You're both important beyond measure, and that you both care so much for my well-being, is... touching. Truly. Overwhelmingly and undeservedly so.

[Morena casts her eyes from Astarion to Gale, and back again.]

You can see why I worry now, can't you? When he says things like that?

[sangwhine]

[Astarion gives a sigh, releasing Gale's hand so that he can tuck a stray hair behind his ear, letting his fingers trail along his jaw just a touch as his hand moves away.]

Dearest, how many times must I remind you that you are well and fully deserving of our care and love, hm?

[He turns to Morena with a smile that is far more settled now.]

Rest assured, I am doing everything in my power to train him out of it.

[mystracal]

He's a stubborn thing once he has his mind on something, for better and for worse.

[Gale brushes his hair behind the the other ear, his earring brushing against his palm, as he swallows down a bite.]

While I am unlearning that unfortunate habit, I insist my mistakes not be ignored. They've done wonders when it comes to humbling me, something I assure you needed to happen.

[It's Gale who Morena casts with a stern look this time.]

Sweetness, there's dispelling your pride, and then there's selling yourself short because you've been made to feel small. You have such an incredible gift. You know it, I know it, and I'm willing to bet Astarion knows it. However, you also have a history of endearing yourself to the worst people imaginable, individuals who only saw you for what you could do for them instead of who you are. You deserve better than that.

[Gale's expression softens, his mouth tightening as he glances toward Astarion.]

[sangwhine]

[Astarion gives a light shrug and a smile as he turns to the meal before him. He'll have to at least make a show of eating something, though it's god that they've gotten this far on conversation alone.]

She's right, you know. I told you before, didn't I? That half-rate goddess of yours didn't deserve a man with your kindness and heart when she's shown full well that she's utterly inept at appreciating such qualities.

[mystracal]

[Gale buries himself in another bite, feeling equal parts grateful for their support and embarrassed by their accurate assessment of the follies of his love life. Even now, he feels inclined to defend Mystra, despite everything she's done - how she made him feel, how she left him to suffer with the orb when it was a danger to everyone around him, how she ignored him until he became useful. Even after all this time, he can't help how his heart aches when thinking about what a fool he was.

Morena, on the other hand, is pleased as punch.]

Tara and I have insisted that for years. She's a goddess, and they're fickle things. I was so proud when he was named a Chosen, but just as apprehensive because it meant she had her eye on him.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion is very pleased indeed to have allies in denouncing Mystra for the damage that she did to Gale. The charming topic of conversation makes it much easier to ignore the ashy taste that Morena's food leaves in his mouth.]

Oh, I can certainly understand how it must have been quite appealing. There was a time when I would have given anything for any of the divine to look kindly upon me. But from my understanding, she did not look upon Gale with kindness. And I will not forgive her for that.

[mystracal]

[Morena smiles as Astarion finally takes a bite for himself - she's always insisted there's no better way into someone's heart than through their stomach. She gets to work on her own plate.]

I've written off entire family members for less. Until Mystra learns some respect, she's not allowed in this household. And now that I think about it - if you two go shopping, make sure he gets a new earring.

[sangwhine]

Ah, yes. We should put something new there, shouldn't we, dearest?

[Astarion turns his gaze to Gale, considering. It's true he doesn't much care for Mystra's symbol remaining on his beloved, but he hasn't given much thought to what sort of mark he might put there instead.]

[mystracal]

[Gale meets Astarion's eyes, his hand reaching up to touch his earring as though it'd have gone somewhere. He's had that adornment for years, was so proud of it once. It let everyone know he belonged to her.

He belongs to someone else now, and the idea of having another mark of Astarion's claim — something to go with that on his neck — is thrilling in a way he dares not express in front of his mother. The corner of his mouth tugs upward into a lopsided smile as he tries to find an appropriate response.]

Anything in mind?

[sangwhine]

A ruby, perhaps? A teardrop cut, maybe.

[Is Astarion forgetting to be subtle about the whole vampire thing? Possibly. He gets a slightly more wistful look on his face as he considers what other options might be available.]

Blueshine, perhaps.

[mystracal]

[Though he sees that look, knows its significance, Gale can't help himself at both suggestions.]

Excellent choices. I can't wait to see what you'll pick.

[Morena livens up.]

Blueshine! Now that would look wonderful for a wedding. I'll be sure to have some imported before then—

[Gale cuts her off this time.]

We're not quite there yet, mother, but when we start planning, I promise you will be the first to know.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion can't help but smile. Her enthusiasm is a very welcome change from the scrutiny he saw only moments ago.]

No, not quite yet. When the time comes, your expertise will be appreciated.

[He pauses a breath, nearly biting at his lower lip with a fang before he remembers to keep it hidden.]

But do you happen to know someone who could procure them? I think that I speak for both of us when I say that they're quite--significant to us.

[mystracal]

Not yet, but I have my ways.

[She gives him a quick wink; Gale leans closer, lowering his voice as he gives Astarion's hand a reassuring pat.]

She only has to find someone she can intimidate into it. Quite easy, with her height.

[Morena huffs.]

Whatever you want for your wedding, you will have for your wedding. Besides, the Dekarios clan has connections across the Sword Coast. I'm sure I can find someone.

[sangwhine]

[The touch is welcome, grounding. Astarion turns his hand in Gale's to give his fingers a gentle squeeze.]

Well, then we shall have to take full advantage of those connections when the time comes. I've already told Gale that I'll see him dressed in nothing less than the best finery the City of Splendors has to offer.