🔮 exsanguinated (with @sangwhine)

[mystracal]

tfln | invitations | and there was only one bed | undermountain alurlyath | what could be | blood bond | the price of freedom
it wore his face | dinner with morena dekarios | rediscovery

Comments

[sangwhine]

I would want to do something about that terrible orb as well. It seems cruel that I haven't had the pleasure of tasting your blood.

[He trails his fingers down the dark lines that creep up Gale's neck, pressing lightly over the beat of his pulse.]

[mystracal]

[His pulse picks up a smidge as Astarion runs those cool fingers down the warm skin of his neck.]

It's for the best. I'm sure I taste positively vile.

[sangwhine]

Which is honestly a shame. You look like you would be such a treat.

[mystracal]

I have been told before that I'm quite a snack. You're welcome to nibble wherever and whenever you like - just watch the fangs.

[sangwhine]

[His smile turns a little strained at the suggestion. He takes a pause to breathe in and calm himself.]

Maybe another time.

[mystracal]

[Hazy as he is, Gale picks up on that shift in expression, the barest thread of tension in Astarion's lips, the way he takes a beat. He averts his eyes, fighting embarrassment.]

Of course. Sorry, I- got carried away with the conversation.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion shakes his head, finding Gale's hand in his and squeezing it.]

I was enticing you, darling. It just suddenly felt wrong.

[mystracal]

How so? Tell me.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion opens his mouth, closes it, then frowns and looks away, towards the colorful fabric of his tent. He's trying to gather the words, but it's more difficult than he imagined to express this. To just tell Gale the honest truth of a feeling that's only recently come to the forefront for him. When he does speak, it's quieter than his usual tone, more somber.]

Just the thought of it. I saw myself with my mouth on you, my teeth on you, but then it wasn't you, it was shadows of all the ones who I've had before. And I could hear his voice in the back of my mind ordering it, demanding it in the same breath that he would use to degrade me. To tell me I was less than nothing for debasing myself like that.

[mystracal]

[Gale shifts onto his side to face Astarion, giving his hand another reassuring squeeze. He generally doesn't enjoy seeing anyone struggle, but particularly the man he's come to care for, for whom Gale has conflicting and powerful emotions, but is determined to help at any cost. He does not do things in half-measures if he can help it.]

We don't have to speak of it any more, if that is what you wish. I'm sure it feels like an eternity away, but one day, hopefully soon - he will be gone.

[sangwhine]

[Astarion tightens his hold on Gale's hand, solidly holding on him even if he can't look his way quite yet.]

It's not a hope. I will kill him for what he's done to me. What he's taken from me.

But I do...I want to be able to have something more with you.

[mystracal]

I'd like that. Someday, whenever you are ready - it could be the day Cazador dies or a hundred years from now when all that he ever was has turned to dust. Now that I'm not quite the uncontrollable, walking cataclysm I once was, I can be patient.

[Or course, the bomb wasn't his only problem, given the tadpoles, the Netherbrain, and the end-of-the-world scenario they are quickly approaching, but those are a given.]

[sangwhine]

[Astarion finally turns to look back at Gale, favoring him with a soft smile.]

You really are quite wonderful, you know.

[mystracal]

[Gale would do anything for that smile. Something about it and the way Astarion's curls frame his face makes Gale's heart sing.]

I'm told I'm quite a catch in the right circumstances. Must be the beard oil. I'll have to thank the man who gave me that advice.

[sangwhine]

Oh? And what will you do to thank him?

[mystracal]

[He smirks.]

What would you suggest? I bought him wine last time, and I'm not sure how good of an idea that turned out to be, since I ended up having more of it than he did.

[sangwhine]

You do look quite lovely with your cheeks flushed.

[mystracal]

Perhaps, but my mind feels so muddled. Do you have any idea how hard it is to string words together when looking at you?

[sangwhine]

You seem to be faring quite well. I'd hate to think I'd stunned someone as eloquent as you into silence.

[mystracal]

It might take a stronger drink than Undermountain Alurlyath for that, but I'm sure with the right look in your eyes, you could manage to stun me all on your own. It's not your looks, mind you, incredible as you know they are - it's how you make me feel when I look at you.

[sangwhine]

And how do I make you feel when you look at me, Gale of Waterdeep?

[mystracal]

[He laughs; it's loud, hearty.]

Don't make me put it into words when you've had me drinking! At least let me save the poetics for when I'm completely sober.

[sangwhine]

Oh no, I want to hear your drunken ramblings. I want to hear the honesty the wine brings out in you.

[mystracal]

It's no fault of mine if you regret this later, though I will be sore if it diminishes what rapport we have.

[He rubs at his eye with the back of his palm; he knows there's a phrase about wine and wisdom, but he'll be damned if he can think of it at that moment.]

I'll say that I shrugged it off as nothing at first. I assumed I was at best an experiment for you, and at worst a cruel joke.

[He chuckles as he says that, in good spirits.]

It was undeniably flattering to have your attention, but I'd seen the way you acted around the others, particularly the leader of this merry band. That cloying way you'd talk to them, except it was being used on me. And it was tempting, to be sure. I am - currently - not what one might consider desirable, and I've been alone for some time now, so to feel as though I was... otherwise...

[He shakes his head. There goes his train of thought. He picks up further down the track.]

Still, I determined that we could, at the very least, get along better than we had been. Nothing so serious, but a casual camaraderie built upon our aligned goals. I sought to have that, and nothing more... until you caught me off-guard. You...

[He pulls in a breath, steadying himself; his voice has grown softer, somber.]

You said something to me that struck me: that Mystra didn't deserve me. That I could do better than being treated like the playing of a goddess. You made it sound so obvious, but... it felt like, for the first time, someone understood. You understood. There was so much more to you than you let anyone see, and I wanted to see it.

[Even he seems to recognize when he's been rambling. His mouth curls into that lopsided smile once more.]

That's what I feel when I look at you. I see this man with depths and layers that I'm not sure even he realizes are there. When he looks at me - when you look - my heart flutters like a bird taking off for a morning flight. It feels as though it's never beat before, and it's only just realized how.

[sangwhine]

[Okay Astarion was expecting drunken ramblings but not this level of emotionally honest drunken ramblings. Gale can watch as his expression shifts from playful amusement to something more serious, finally landing on a soft eyed awe. He stares at Gale, absolutely dumbstruck. It's true what he said to Gale and he meant every word of it, but for Gale to take words as simple as that and peel away the layers of deception and misdirection and want to truly know Astarion is nothing he'd ever even conceived of wanting.

But now that Gale's said it, put words to that desire, he can't imagine wanting anything else. To be understood at the depth that Gale wishes to understand him. To be seen for all that he is and for that still to inspire a look of awe in the one who sees it.

He blinks, his vision suddenly hazy and misty with emotion. He speaks, his voice a quiet and fragile thing.]

You are so incredible. Truly, there is no one else like you in this world.