mystracal | 🔮 exsanguinated (with @sangwhine)

[Gale's unease completely escapes Astarion's notice, his attention now fixed completely on Morena. His smile feels forced, a tight feeling gripping the back of his throat, but he's performed in worse circumstances.]

I'm afraid that I can't quite comment to either point. I'm unfortunately estranged from my family. I haven't seen the city with my own eyes in centuries.

[For a moment, his smile falters, his gaze flicking to Gale then back, but in that split second he isn't seeking solace. He's sizing Gale's reaction, searching for any sign of annoyance, of disapproval.]

Before your son, I was—truly alone.

[Astarion's eyes meet Gale's, and he'll find no disappointment, disapproval, or annoyance - only a sober look, one that accompanies Gale taking his hand below the table as he sits back down with his plate. He gives Astarion's hand a squeeze before releasing him so he can get his own serving.

Morena may keep her eyes off them, but there's the sense that she's watching all the same, a slight tension in the air that comes from observation.]

Well, it's a good thing Gale is always in need of company, particular company that treats him well.

[Grateful they're not talking about Astarion's family anymore, Gale chimes in.]

Oh, he treats me very well. Better than anyone ever has, really. Well, save for you, of course. And Tara. Maybe Elminster, depending on the circumstances.

[Morena's chin lands on her hands, the two of them clasped by the fingers to form a bridge before her; she smiles knowingly.]

You might move him ahead of Elminster, my sweet rabbit. I don't think that old windbag ever left a mark on your neck like that.

[Gale stiffens, his face almost as red as Astarion's eyes as Morena smirks to herself and pours herself a glass of wine.]

[Oh, Astarion likes Morena. Her remark startles a laugh out of him, one he doesn't bother to hide as he reaches over to give Gale's collar a soft tug.]

Yes, dearest, I hope I'd rank above that ancient cheesemonger.

[The break in conversation is quite welcome, though. Both to give him a chance to serve himself and to settle his nerves. Somehow, even with as well as things are going, he still feels like a thread pulled taut. Not enough to fray, not yet, but as if the slightest misstep could make it snap.

He pushes down on that particular anxiety, burying it in a smile for Morena's benefit.]

The marks aside, I do try to ensure that he takes care of himself. He seems to forget such simple things like eating and grooming himself when left to his own devices, as I'm sure you're well aware.

[Gale stews in his own embarrassment, tugging his collar and tie that much higher.]

I'm right here, thank you.

[Morena puts down her glass after taking a sip.]

Yes you are, my sweetness, so you're all ears to hear how glad I am to know you've got someone looking out for you. There's only so much Tara can do without thumbs.

[She turns her attention to Astarion.]

He's always been like this, I'll have you know - so focused on everything and everyone else that he forgets himself. Doubly when he has his heart set on something, or rather, someone.

[There's a flutter at the back of Astarion's throat, not altogether unpleasant but tight and nervous all the same. Gale has his heart set on Astarion. He knows it well enough from the numerous times the man has professed his love, from the ring that rests on his finger. Yet somehow hearing it from Morena's lips, from someone who knows Gale better than most, makes it more real. He can't help but smile, a soft and genuine thing, his gaze slipping back to Gale in adoration as he speaks.]

I dare say that I have quite a bit of experience witnessing that intensity firsthand.

[There's a beat, before his expression hardens to something more serious, looking back to Morena with an earnest entreaty in his gaze.]

But you have my word, my honest vow, that I know what a precious and fragile thing such a heart can be. I know how easily it can be hurt by those undeserving of its attention. I cherish your son, Morena Dekarios. He is more precious to me than the light of the sun, of all the stars that number our skies.

I will not see harm befall him. I will not let myself become the cause for any injury to him, body and heart alike.

[Both mother and son smile: Gale in lovestruck awe, and Morena in genuine satisfaction.]

Well, aren't you poetic? A man after Gale's own heart indeed. I could tell how taken he was with you the moment he said your name. [And with a quick look to Gale himself:] I'm sorry, sweetness. You're just not one to wear your heart anywhere but your sleeve.

[Gale can't help but sigh in solemn agreement.]

Yes, we're both well aware I'm not a liar by nature. Blame yourself for raising me to be so honest.

[She smirks, and Gale does the same in return. For all this talk about how little he does to take care of himself, he is an accomplished magician and adventurer - a former Chosen, a hero of Baldur's Gate. He'd brag about that last one, but that would require a lot of explanation he's not sure he's ready to get into. Know how perceptive his mother can be, he has no doubt she'll figure it out in time - and that's assuming Tara doesn't let it slip one day when she's had a bit too much catnip.

There is something he wants to tell her though, something near and dear to him, something he wants to announce to the world and sing from the rooftops. He hadn't gotten the chance to tell their friends, wanting his family to be the first to know; in his chest, his heart thuds quickly, heavily.]

On the subject of honesty, there is something I- that we wanted to tell you. Right, Astarion?

[He looks Astarion's way, though not to push him to speak so much as to gather his own courage.]

Hm?

[Astarion's attention draws back to Gale, that flutter beating its wings all the harder when he meets the man's gaze. Gods, but he is besotted, isn't he? He can feel the squeeze against his unbeating heart, something that by all rights should terrify him more than it does.

But it doesn't, not with Gale right here. He reaches his hand for Gale's, giving a gentle squeeze in reassurance. This is what they've come here for, after all. Fear can't keep them from it for long.]

Yes, of course. Go on, dearest.

[That squeeze does the wizard wonders; he licks his lips, wondering when his throat got so dry, and tells himself it's now or never. He sets his sights on Morena.]

I've asked Astarion to marry me. We're engaged, and—

[Well, there goes that smirk from Morena's face, replaced with unadulterated shock that tightens her lips, draws her brows upward in alarm. She'd figured out they were enamored with one another almost immediately, and was relieved to hear Astarion seemed just as dedicated to Gale as her son was to him, but apparently, she hadn't anticipated their relationship to be that far along. Even Tara looks astounded, her eyes wide, her conjured hands completely stationary as they float over the table.]

Married? So soon? You've only known him how long, a few months?

[Gale bites his lip.]

Long enough to know I love him. He understands me in a way of which no one else is capable. Cares for me like no one ever has or ever will. He is everything in my world, even more than magic.

[Morena's gaze flicks to Astarion, far more scrutinizing now.]

Is he?

[The change in Morena is abrupt enough to startle Astarion. He hasn't always been the best judge of character, but he had thought that things were going quite well up until this point. The tight line of her lips, the sharp scrutiny in her gaze is like ice shooting straight through his veins.

He feels himself tense, his back straightening unconsciously—fix your posture lest I have Godey pull out your spine, boy—a tremor in his lips hidden as he presses them together—must you always smile like there isn't a thought in that vacant head of yours?—but he doesn't flinch away. He owes that much to Gale, at least. He won't relent. He holds tight to Gale's hand, pale knuckles clutching to him in a white-gripped vice.]

[Astarion's hand tightens, and Gale's own trembles in his grasp; however, Gale stands firm in his decision.]

He is. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, however brief it may be by comparison. I've given him my heart, fragile as it is these days, and he's done well to keep it safe. I trust him, often more than I trust myself.

[Morena's expression softens with her son's words, her eyes moving back to him. She pulls in a deep breath and composes herself, settling down with her wine glass.]

I suppose that's all there is to it, then. [She casts him with a worried look.] I just want you happy and safe, my darling. And frankly, you've given me little reason to trust your judgment when it comes to partners who can provide you those things.

[Gale sighs as well, a rueful smile tugging at his lips.]

A perfectly fair assessment. But I promise, Astarion is different, has proven himself as such time and time again. He's no god, and I wouldn't have him any other way.

[Morena takes a sip from her glass.]

If you told me you were courting another deity, I'd be the first to defile the nearest temple.

[She finally looks Astarion's way again, bowing her head.]

I apologize, Astarion. Forgive a mother for worrying about her wayward son.

[Astarion can barely parse the conversation around him for how loud Cazador's voice rings in his head. He feels like he's falling. Like he's been shoved over the edge of a chasm with no end in sight. A chill runs over his already cold skin like the sharp cut of a flaying knife, like silver needles driven under his fingernails.

Morena's voice speaking his name seems to come from a thousand miles away, a distant echo into the cavernous shadows of his skull. He grabs to it like a lifeline, desperately hauling himself back, so he can feel the warmth of Gale's hand in his, smell the fragrance of Morena's wine, of the fine meal before them, not rot, not blood, but spices and rendered fat.

He's forgotten to breathe, he thinks. He looks to Morena bowing her head to him in a stupor. Has she noticed? He swallows down air, remembering that he needs it to speak, to be heard. Surely she'll notice the lapse in his reply, surely Gale will, but he can only hope it goes unnoticed.]

I—could hardly hold such a thing against you.

[Whereas they both missed Astarion's earlier lapse, they catch it this time; Morena's brow furrows in confusion as she looks him up and down.]

I'm sure you could if you wanted to, but I must ask - are you feeling all right? You're looking quite pale, and I do hope I haven't ruined dinner by being a mother owlbear before a proper hostess.

[Gale, his hand still in Astarion's grasp, offers her a placating smile.]

If you'll excuse your wayward son and his paramour for a moment, mum?

[Morena hesitates, but finally does rise from her seat; the concern hasn't left her face.]

Of course, sweetness. I'll go get Astarion some fresh water.

[She excuses herself and leaves the room, the two of them alone once more. Gale waits for her to be well out of earshot before speaking, his voice low and soft as he searches for Astarion's eyes.]

Astarion?

[There's an imperceptible flinch when Gale says his name, despite how soft and quiet it is. He gave his word he wouldn't ruin this evening, didn't he? That he wouldn't come between Gale and his mother. Hells, how much time did he lose? How long was he slack jawed and out of his mind? He swallows before squeezing Gale's hand in his, putting on as much of a smile as he can muster.]

I didn't mean to worry you, dear. I was—somewhere else. It didn't seem right of me to interrupt you and your mother.

['Somewhere else.' Gale's brow tightens.]

Forgive her, she's just... worried. I've given her every right to be.

[He runs his knuckles along Astarion's cheek.]

Just give me a moment. I'll find us an excuse to leave.

[He flinches again, more noticeable with Gale's hand to his cheek. It can't be hidden now. A sour anger bites the back of his throat as he speaks, a hissing whisper.]

Don't you dare.

[He pauses, gathers himself, digs his nails into his palm so it hurts enough to ground him, breathes.]

We'll stay. Your mother's cooked such a fine meal for us. Don't let me keep you from it, dear.

[His mouth draws itself into a thin line.]

She's cooked plenty of fine meals, and will cook others yet. I won't have you stay discomfited on my behalf.

And I won't have this evening ruined by—

[He bites off his words before he can say the name. It isn't Gale's name that's on his lips, he reminds himself. Gale doesn't deserve this anger, this hurt. He swallows again, some of the tension bleeding from his body as he looks down to the angry red crescents he's dug into the palm of his hand.]

I want this to go well, Gale. I don't want what she'll think of me if I steal you away from her right now.

[Gale's eyes trail downward, landing on Astarion's other palm; he pulls in a breath, stifling the urge to keep arguing.]

All right. But promise to talk to me when we get home.

[Astarion curls that hand closed, reaching over to gently pat Gale's wrist in reassurance.]

When we return, you may dote upon me to your heart's content. I promise.

Edited 2024-03-27 08:34 (UTC)

I will be taking you up on that.

[His eyes flick upward as he hears his mother's footsteps; Morena brushes her hair back into place with her fingers as she steps into the room, setting a fresh glass of water for Astarion down before standing beside the table.]

I just wanted to apologize, Astarion. To you both, but especially to you, and sincerely. I am sorry. You've been nothing but a gentleman since you arrived, and it's clear you and my Gale are sweet on one another. I was just... surprised at the news, how sudden it is. Sudden enough for a human, much less someone as long-lived as your sort.

[Astarion turns to Morena on her return, his facade recovered, at least somewhat, though he doesn't release Gale's hand from his hold.]

My dear, there's no need for such an apology. You were only—acting as a mother should. In Gale's best interests. Honestly, it might have been more worrisome if you had simply agreed to the whole affair at face value without concern for my intentions for your son.

[He pauses a moment, turning his gaze away to look to the table, the water, his fingertips running softly against the already-knitting flesh of his self-inflicted wounds. He takes a breath before he speaks, not making eye contact with either of them, his voice considerably more measured than his earlier beguiling attempts.]

To be truthful, my nerves were perhaps a bit on edge at the worry that you might not approve of my place in Gale's life. The thought that my worry was not entirely unfounded seems to have hit upon an unpleasant memory. Drew it to the surface. But it was poor form of me to read such ill-intent into your concern.

[Gale gives Astarion's hand a squeeze, running his thumb along his pale knuckles as he explains - and with more honesty than he'd anticipated.]

You're both important beyond measure, and that you both care so much for my well-being, is... touching. Truly. Overwhelmingly and undeservedly so.

[Morena casts her eyes from Astarion to Gale, and back again.]

You can see why I worry now, can't you? When he says things like that?

[Astarion gives a sigh, releasing Gale's hand so that he can tuck a stray hair behind his ear, letting his fingers trail along his jaw just a touch as his hand moves away.]

Dearest, how many times must I remind you that you are well and fully deserving of our care and love, hm?

[He turns to Morena with a smile that is far more settled now.]

Rest assured, I am doing everything in my power to train him out of it.

He's a stubborn thing once he has his mind on something, for better and for worse.

[Gale brushes his hair behind the the other ear, his earring brushing against his palm, as he swallows down a bite.]

While I am unlearning that unfortunate habit, I insist my mistakes not be ignored. They've done wonders when it comes to humbling me, something I assure you needed to happen.

[It's Gale who Morena casts with a stern look this time.]

Sweetness, there's dispelling your pride, and then there's selling yourself short because you've been made to feel small. You have such an incredible gift. You know it, I know it, and I'm willing to bet Astarion knows it. However, you also have a history of endearing yourself to the worst people imaginable, individuals who only saw you for what you could do for them instead of who you are. You deserve better than that.

[Gale's expression softens, his mouth tightening as he glances toward Astarion.]

[Astarion gives a light shrug and a smile as he turns to the meal before him. He'll have to at least make a show of eating something, though it's god that they've gotten this far on conversation alone.]

She's right, you know. I told you before, didn't I? That half-rate goddess of yours didn't deserve a man with your kindness and heart when she's shown full well that she's utterly inept at appreciating such qualities.

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